As school starts back all across the country, it is important to establish routines for your child, whether they are adopted or biological children! It's imperative to begin the year off in a positive way, being prepared for the school day. The morning routine actually starts the night before. Feel free to add your comments.
The night before, pack the book bag with all needed items for the next day, such as homework, supplies, permission slips, etc.
Check to make sure all homework is completed. Go over as needed. (Has anyone else noticed that homework is mounting and getting harder each year??)
Prepare lunch or give lunch money the night before.
Have your child pick out his/her clothes for the next day. As they are getting out their jammies, have them go ahead and pick out something special to wear to school.
Establish a regular bedtime--Children need more sleep than adults, and the lack of sleep will show in their behavior and school performance.
Have a regular wake up time each morning.
Establish a morning routine. Lots of parents get creative and develop charts, with stickers or smiley faces. Let your child check off each task, such as getting dressed, brushing teeth, having breakfast, etc.
These are just a few ideas to get you started. It's especially important for children who have been adopted to have routines and structure. Knowing what to expect will help your child adjust to his/her new environment.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Why adopt an older child?
As an adult, think about your favorite holiday and how you celebrate your happiest occasions. I bet that family comes to mind. How often do we get together with extended family members for Thanksgiving dinner, Christmas morning exchange and birthday celebrations. Did you bring your significant other home to "meet the family"? Did you/Do you get daily or weekly phone calls from Mom and Dad checking in on you?
Imagine having no one to call you on your birthday, imagine having no family to make plans with for the holidays, and worst of all, imagine having no grandparents to take your first child to. Children who do not get adopted face all of these issues. Whether a child is in an International orphanage or an American foster home, if a child "ages out" and doesn't become a part of a forever family, he/she has no one to call family, no one to take their first real love home to meet, and no one to gather with for the holidays. Can you imagine your life without all of the weird and sometimes dysfunctional people that you call family?
An older child doesn't mean a child that is passed the infant stage and learning to talk. Older children are often times elementary school age and many times, already into teenage status. Take a look at your state's waiting children. Chances are high that you will find more than one child that is nearing high school graduation, still waiting and hoping that he/she will be chosen by a family.
Consider an older child for adopting! Check out the link on Adoptive Families: http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=1358#1
Imagine having no one to call you on your birthday, imagine having no family to make plans with for the holidays, and worst of all, imagine having no grandparents to take your first child to. Children who do not get adopted face all of these issues. Whether a child is in an International orphanage or an American foster home, if a child "ages out" and doesn't become a part of a forever family, he/she has no one to call family, no one to take their first real love home to meet, and no one to gather with for the holidays. Can you imagine your life without all of the weird and sometimes dysfunctional people that you call family?
An older child doesn't mean a child that is passed the infant stage and learning to talk. Older children are often times elementary school age and many times, already into teenage status. Take a look at your state's waiting children. Chances are high that you will find more than one child that is nearing high school graduation, still waiting and hoping that he/she will be chosen by a family.
Consider an older child for adopting! Check out the link on Adoptive Families: http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=1358#1
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Georgia Adoption Registry
Georgia's Adoption Reunion Registry was created as a result of a state law effective on July 1, 1990. The purpose of the Registry is to offer services to birth parents, adopted persons, adoptive parents and siblings who are affected by adoptions finalized in Georgia.
For more information or to register, contact:
Georgia Adoption Reunion Registry
Families First/ Office of Adoptions
2 Peachtree St N.W. Suite 8-407
Atlanta, GA 30303-3143
(404) 657-3555
1-888-328-0055
For more information or to register, contact:
Georgia Adoption Reunion Registry
Families First/ Office of Adoptions
2 Peachtree St N.W. Suite 8-407
Atlanta, GA 30303-3143
(404) 657-3555
1-888-328-0055
Monday, September 1, 2008
Positive Adoption Language
Many times, people are uninformed, insensitive, or even just rude when commenting on "real" families. Words do hurt and it's important to know and educate others about the appropriate words and phrases to use (and not to use) when discussing adoption.
Avoid using: "real" or "natural" when referring to mother, father, or sibling, because: this implies that the adoptive relationships are artificial, tentative, or not real. Use Instead: "Birth" or "biological mother, father, or sibling"
Avoid using: "own child", because this suggests that the adoptive relationships are less important than biological relationships. Use instead: "birth child", "child by birth"
Avoid using: "taken away", "given up", because this implies that children are stolen or forgotten, rather than adopted legally and with forethought. Use instead: "Termination of parental rights".
Avoid using: "Surrendered", "relinquished", "gave away", "put up", because this is a poor description of a birth parent's decision making process and choice. Instead use "chose adoption", "created an adoption plan"
Avoid using: "to keep", as this indicates that children are possessions. Use instead: "To parent"
Avoid using: "adoptive child", or "adoptive parent", as no qualifiers are needed. Use instead: son, daughter, mom, dad, grandparent
Avoid using: "foreign adoption", has despite all advances, this still has a negative connotation. Use instead: "International adoption".
Avoid using: "is adopted" because it is a one-time event. Use instead: "Was adopted"
Adapted from information obtained by NACAC
Avoid using: "real" or "natural" when referring to mother, father, or sibling, because: this implies that the adoptive relationships are artificial, tentative, or not real. Use Instead: "Birth" or "biological mother, father, or sibling"
Avoid using: "own child", because this suggests that the adoptive relationships are less important than biological relationships. Use instead: "birth child", "child by birth"
Avoid using: "taken away", "given up", because this implies that children are stolen or forgotten, rather than adopted legally and with forethought. Use instead: "Termination of parental rights".
Avoid using: "Surrendered", "relinquished", "gave away", "put up", because this is a poor description of a birth parent's decision making process and choice. Instead use "chose adoption", "created an adoption plan"
Avoid using: "to keep", as this indicates that children are possessions. Use instead: "To parent"
Avoid using: "adoptive child", or "adoptive parent", as no qualifiers are needed. Use instead: son, daughter, mom, dad, grandparent
Avoid using: "foreign adoption", has despite all advances, this still has a negative connotation. Use instead: "International adoption".
Avoid using: "is adopted" because it is a one-time event. Use instead: "Was adopted"
Adapted from information obtained by NACAC
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Adoption Ceremony
Adoption Ceremonies....What is it and Why have one?
Rituals are an important part of any life cycle event. They validate our feelings and allow the rite of passage into a new part of our lives. Some of the occasions in which we have rituals are at birthdays, funerals, weddings, births, and for religious celebrations. Having an adoption ceremony is no different than having a ritual for any other occasion. The ceremony helps to validate our feelings and provide a sense of connectedness.
An adoption ceremony is a simple ceremony to bring together the parents and child to symbolize the joining of the new family. It is essentially a covenant and all parties stand in front of their witnesses and acknowledge the new bond between parent and child and the lifelong commitment the parents are making. Each parent takes vows to the child and the child accepts their commitments.
Adoption ceremonies are not the finalization of the adoption. (That happens in court.) The adoption ceremony is an agreement initiated by the adoptive parents and responded to by the child. The ceremony should take place early on in the placement, to symbolize family unity while the adoption is in the process of being finalized. It serves as an insurance policy to the child that Mom and Dad aren’t going to change their minds and return the child. This is especially important if you are adopting an older child.
Rituals are an important part of any life cycle event. They validate our feelings and allow the rite of passage into a new part of our lives. Some of the occasions in which we have rituals are at birthdays, funerals, weddings, births, and for religious celebrations. Having an adoption ceremony is no different than having a ritual for any other occasion. The ceremony helps to validate our feelings and provide a sense of connectedness.
An adoption ceremony is a simple ceremony to bring together the parents and child to symbolize the joining of the new family. It is essentially a covenant and all parties stand in front of their witnesses and acknowledge the new bond between parent and child and the lifelong commitment the parents are making. Each parent takes vows to the child and the child accepts their commitments.
Adoption ceremonies are not the finalization of the adoption. (That happens in court.) The adoption ceremony is an agreement initiated by the adoptive parents and responded to by the child. The ceremony should take place early on in the placement, to symbolize family unity while the adoption is in the process of being finalized. It serves as an insurance policy to the child that Mom and Dad aren’t going to change their minds and return the child. This is especially important if you are adopting an older child.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Laying a Foundation for Adopted Children
It's imperative for children to always feel like they have a solid foundation in their home, especially for a child who has been adopted. Children should never be threatened about their place or security in the family home whether it be for behavior or any other reason. If a child hears something like "If you don't act right, I'm going to send you to foster care, or back where you came from, this will only undermine his security in his foundation. An adopted child may feel like he has already lost one family and the fear of losing another family becomes a real possibility. A child that is afraid he will lose his family is going to be unable to correct any negative behaviors.
Even a child adopted as an infant or young toddler can and probably will experience the loss of a birth family he never knew. As his "forever family" it's essential to provide a solid ground, unconditional love, and a strong sense of security.
Even a child adopted as an infant or young toddler can and probably will experience the loss of a birth family he never knew. As his "forever family" it's essential to provide a solid ground, unconditional love, and a strong sense of security.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Adoption Home Studies in Georgia and Florida
Next to bringing home your new child, the home study should be the most exciting part of the adoption process. While it can be time consuming and a lengthy process, it is the stepping stone of having you recommended for the match and/or placement of a child. Different states have varying requirements, but all home studies are similar in nature. It is a representation of you and your family life to assess your suitability of providing a stable environment to a child. There is no need to fear this process. Armed with accurate information, prospective parents can face the home study experience with the confidence and excitement that should accompany the prospect of welcoming a child into their family.
(Adoption laws and guidelines vary from state to state. This clinician has experience completing home studies in Georgia and Florida.)
In most states, a home study can only be completed by a licensed adoption agency. It is very important to make sure that while the social worker completing the study may be licensed, if he/she is not working directly with a licensed agency, your home study may have to be redone, starting the process over at step 1. If given an option, you should carefully select the social worker. If your placing agency requires that they complete the home study, you are limited to their availability of social workers. If you are tasked with locating an independent home study provider yourself, there is more flexibility in whom you choose and you can shop around for one, just like you would a real estate agency, a bank, a car, hair dresser, etc.
There are many things to consider when choosing a home study provider. It’s important to feel comfortable with your decision and the best way to do that is to do your homework. When choosing an agency, one of the first things to consider is cost. Home studies can vary in price just like anything else. There are many factors that go into determining your home study cost, such as the time frame it is needed, your location, and the agency you have chosen. Generally speaking, the cost can range from $1000 on up. When time is an issue, ask if they can provide an expedited home study, and know that it will probably cost more.
Another important question to ask is how long it will take to complete the study. Because part of the home study involves background clearances, you have to take into account the amount of time it will take for those government agencies to process your request. You will probably need local, state, and federal entities to report on any criminal activity. If you have lived in your current state less than six years, you may need multiple states to report back to the home study provider. The home study can take anywhere from 4 weeks to 6 months. Oftentimes, choosing a provider that is limited to home studies can speed up the process. Since their focus is narrowed, they are often able to devote more time to completing your study.
Another important consideration is how many visits are included in the process? The number of visits required will vary by state and if you are adopting internationally, you will have to follow those guidelines as well. If multiple visits are required, usually one is completed in the home, and the others can be done at the social worker’s office or an agreed upon location. It is important to know if the home study price includes mileage or travel time for the worker. If not, you may be billed separately for that cost. You may also be interviewed apart from your spouse, and if you already have children, they will be interviewed as well.
To be continued......
(Adoption laws and guidelines vary from state to state. This clinician has experience completing home studies in Georgia and Florida.)
In most states, a home study can only be completed by a licensed adoption agency. It is very important to make sure that while the social worker completing the study may be licensed, if he/she is not working directly with a licensed agency, your home study may have to be redone, starting the process over at step 1. If given an option, you should carefully select the social worker. If your placing agency requires that they complete the home study, you are limited to their availability of social workers. If you are tasked with locating an independent home study provider yourself, there is more flexibility in whom you choose and you can shop around for one, just like you would a real estate agency, a bank, a car, hair dresser, etc.
There are many things to consider when choosing a home study provider. It’s important to feel comfortable with your decision and the best way to do that is to do your homework. When choosing an agency, one of the first things to consider is cost. Home studies can vary in price just like anything else. There are many factors that go into determining your home study cost, such as the time frame it is needed, your location, and the agency you have chosen. Generally speaking, the cost can range from $1000 on up. When time is an issue, ask if they can provide an expedited home study, and know that it will probably cost more.
Another important question to ask is how long it will take to complete the study. Because part of the home study involves background clearances, you have to take into account the amount of time it will take for those government agencies to process your request. You will probably need local, state, and federal entities to report on any criminal activity. If you have lived in your current state less than six years, you may need multiple states to report back to the home study provider. The home study can take anywhere from 4 weeks to 6 months. Oftentimes, choosing a provider that is limited to home studies can speed up the process. Since their focus is narrowed, they are often able to devote more time to completing your study.
Another important consideration is how many visits are included in the process? The number of visits required will vary by state and if you are adopting internationally, you will have to follow those guidelines as well. If multiple visits are required, usually one is completed in the home, and the others can be done at the social worker’s office or an agreed upon location. It is important to know if the home study price includes mileage or travel time for the worker. If not, you may be billed separately for that cost. You may also be interviewed apart from your spouse, and if you already have children, they will be interviewed as well.
To be continued......
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