Positive Adoption Language

Many times, people are uninformed, insensitive, or even just rude when commenting on "real" families. Words do hurt and it's important to know and educate others about the appropriate words and phrases to use (and not to use) when discussing adoption.

Avoid using: "real" or "natural" when referring to mother, father, or sibling, because: this implies that the adoptive relationships are artificial, tentative, or not real. Use Instead: "Birth" or "biological mother, father, or sibling"

Avoid using: "own child", because this suggests that the adoptive relationships are less important than biological relationships. Use instead: "birth child", "child by birth"

Avoid using: "taken away", "given up", because this implies that children are stolen or forgotten, rather than adopted legally and with forethought. Use instead: "Termination of parental rights".

Avoid using: "Surrendered", "relinquished", "gave away", "put up", because this is a poor description of a birth parent's decision making process and choice. Instead use "chose adoption", "created an adoption plan"

Avoid using: "to keep", as this indicates that children are possessions. Use instead: "To parent"

Avoid using: "adoptive child", or "adoptive parent", as no qualifiers are needed. Use instead: son, daughter, mom, dad, grandparent

Avoid using: "foreign adoption", has despite all advances, this still has a negative connotation. Use instead: "International adoption".

Avoid using: "is adopted" because it is a one-time event. Use instead: "Was adopted"

Adapted from information obtained by NACAC