Red Flags

Detecting Red Flags

Listed are areas of concern. They may or may not pertain to every situation, however they are red flags to consider. If you have any questions, please contact us.

Adoption Professionals, Facilitators, Adoption Advertising Companies:

•Requests a large upfront fee and the rest are due upon the completion of an adoption.

•Has a flashy website with lots of information and does not have information about their staff, physical address or mission statement.

•Guarantees a placement in X amount of time.

•Sent you information several weeks ago and you did not receive it, the professional is surprised.

•Has not returned your phone calls as they have had a personal crisis.

•Promises you he/she will find you a baby.

•Sends out regular emails of available situations that need to be matched immediately.

•States they have no negative reports or references.

•Has been in business for a year and has successfully placed 100% of the time.

•Does not seek out their own potential expectant parents but uses others services
and stacks fees.

•Seems to avoid face-to-face contact.

•Screams and yells at you and states you are the reason potential birth parent(s) has walked away from the match.

•Does not get proof of pregnancy nor verifies it, and does not get release of medical information prior to a match.

•Sets you up with a high-risk adoption.

•Tell you repeatedly to not worry about birth dad and his rights.

•Relocates the expectant moms they work with.

•Has expectant mom lie about birth dads where abouts.


Expectant Parent(s)

•Asks for money to be sent to them due to a crisis.

•Request a plane ticket or bus ticket so she can travel to your home and await delivery.

•Refuses counseling or to talk to your adoption professional.

•Refuses to consult with your attorney or agency.

•Refuses to name birth dad.

•Refuses to tell family or friends.

•Refuses to sign a medical release over to you or your adoption professional.

•Does not ask you questions about you, your home, or your family.

•States, “you are the family” with in the first contact.

•Seems to be dealing with one crisis after another. Much drama in her life.

•Is being kicked out of home, homeless shelter and needs money wired immediately.

•Keeps changing due date.

•Sends you ultrasound without a name on it or other verifying information.

•Insist on being the one who does the contacting.

•Refuses to give you or your adoption professional her/his contact information.

•Will only have contact with you over the net.

•Constantly needs money.

•Knows too much about adoption and how it works.

•Refuses or has a lot of excuses as to why she/he cannot utilize resources within their community.

•Does not tell her doctor about the adoption plan.


Prospective Adoptive Parent(s)

•They make demands instead of requests.

• Have no homestudy.Ask the adoptive couple who their homestudy was completed by. You call or have your attorney call to validate this information before you proceed to far into an adoption plan.

•Story changes in regards to what type of adoption they are looking for and how much contact they want after the baby is born

•Extremely desperate and says or does anything they can in order to get the expectant mom to match with them.

•Pressures you, belittles you, is disrespectful, or they have no concept of boundaries.

•Does not support counseling for the expectant mom. (some states require mandatory counseling).

•Tries to circumvent the laws or disregards expectant mom and dad's rights.

•Wants to put one of their names on the orginal birth certificate.•Sends references to you but does not allow you to contact them.

•If you are being promised an open adoption but you are not allowed to have their physical address or home phone number.

Trust your instincts and allow yourself to listen to others experiences. Think with your head and not your heart. Remember, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is, and most of all empower yourself with education!



Provided by Adoption Scams/The Cruelest Con

Reduce Adoption Risks

Educate yourself on facilitators that "piggyback" (facilitators that network and don't necessarily screen or have their own expectant mothers). They are the ones that you will see advertising or "dangling" leads on the Internet. Beware of anyone "dangling" leads in front of you or an adoption professional referring to the baby as "your baby". Sometimes attorneys and agencies will do this as well. Although these situations will tug at your heartstrings it is best to find another avenue. If you get a promise of a quick adoption, beware there is no quick trip to the "Baby Store".

Make sure that the adoption professional you are working with does thorough expectant mother screenings. All expectant mothers should be offered and receive appropriate counseling. Don't be afraid to ask questions and request proof of pregnancy. A few "red flags" to watch for would be professionals who avoid answering any of your questions, someone that refuses to contact your attorney, or someone that doesn't return your phone calls promptly. Beware if there seems to always be a reason for not sending you specific information or they are surprised that you have not received the information.

If adoptive parents are presented with an expectant mother and an adoption professional is requiring money up front, pushing for an answer in a short time period, or threatening that you will lose the match, slow down and think with your head and not your heart. Why would the adoption professional be so pushy when there are many prospective adoptive parents seeking to adopt?

Adoptive parents and expectant moms should contact their local or state RESOLVE Chapters for referrals on adoption professionals. Once prospective adoptive parents and even expectant mothers have narrowed the field down to a few adoption professionals they need to investigate thoroughly, even upon doing this there may be no guarantees.

Check for complaints with the State Attorneys General's office, the state licensing agency, local police departments, Internet sites and the Better Business Bureau (I don't put a lot of stock into the BBB. Beware if the BBB has an automated system all the scam artist has to do is to change their phone number to get the system to eliminate negative reports) Ask lots of questions!

Do a background check on the business and avoid businesses that have flashy marketing materials or advertise in the yellow pages. Even a well-created Internet site can be misleading. A reputable adoption professional does NOT need to seek out clients.

Check out your state laws regarding adoption and the laws of the state you are adopting from. The laws in each state vary and it is often difficult to find your way through the maze. Some states do not allow facilitation services. Some states do not allow private adoptions. And some states put the baby into foster care for a time.

Educate yourself. Read books, watch videos, attend seminars and support groups. Join various Internet egroups or check message boards on the Internet for any positive or negative reports. Network with other adoptive parents, expectant parents or birth parents. Keep reading! Educate yourself in the laws.....educate...educate..educate!

Expectant moms have the right to change their minds and not proceed with an adoption plan. Ethical adoptive parents only want what is best for the expectant mom as well as the child. Open adoptions, counseling by an independant party can thoroughly explore an adoption plan. No expectant mom should be coerced, bribed or or made promises of monetary means.

Validate all information. Documents and pictures all can be forged!

Obtained from Adoption Scam/Cruelest Con